A Tip of the TOE

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Using standard methods from string theory, this paper presents a comprehensive survey about the most important aspects of the theory of sand. Special interest is put on the examination of the sand-wind duality and the interaction of ordinary (non-supersymmetric) sand with the heat field of the earth, as solution of the field inequalities of a stone. This will lead us, in a natural way, to completely new insights into the theory of sandstorms.
parody on poorly written papers in theoretical physics; 9 pages, 6 figures

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